How does smirnoff taste like

Not recommended in any situation, unless you needed to get a Bratz doll drunk in a hurry. Also, why was this drink reminding me of the fruity-candy-and-scented-plastic-doll smells of my childhood? What is wrong with me? Waft : A piece of grape gum that got stuck in your hair at summer camp you had to go to the nurse's office to get it out, it was really embarrassing. Flavor Notes : Pitched midway between Grape Fanta and grape cough syrup, this was not my style, but it could be yours, if your life has been about struggling to find an acceptable way to sip on grape cough syrup at a party without getting concerned looks.

Also, I am beginning to feel unnerved by all the pre-pubescent memories these drinks are invoking — I know they're designed for people who are inexperienced drinkers, but, like, they shouldn't remind you of when you were equally inexperienced at riding a bike or having your period, right?

Flavor Notes : One of the greatest pleasures of becoming a more sophisticated drinker is learning that there are beverages in the world that you can combine besides O. But, that said, this at least tastes more like orange soda that's been left out in the sun all day, rather than some toxic beverage you concocted in your rec room using non-pulp orange juice and a vodka that had a drawing of an eagle on the bottle.

I have to at least give it that. Waft : Popsicles melted onto a car's leather interior, but, like, in a nice way. It seemed like a beverage designed to be served at some kind of event that I don't get invited to, like a Katy Perry cosplay night.

Not for me, but I understood its place in the world. Waft : Like the perfume from a Little Mermaid -themed make up kit that I had as a kid I did try to drink the perfume once, but was startled to find that it just tasted like rubbing alcohol. Flavor Notes : Not that much worse than an actual bottom-of-the-barrel restaurant bellini, honestly. After a few sips, I realized I had a handle on the taste, and was just drinking it because I appreciated its "little girl shampoo" scent and taste.

How do all these malt liquor beverages evoke things I smelled at the Disney Store circa ? What does this say about Smirnoff, and what does this say about me? Waft : Like that canned lemonade you'll buy at a gas station when they're sold out of everything but that and Mountain Dew: Code Red.

Flavor Notes : Just as I had remembered, this also tasted like canned lemonade, a not-unpleasant combination of fizz and sweet-sour chemicals. With this, too, I realized after a few sips, I was simply drinking it because it felt enjoyable going down.

It also reminded me of the foibles of late adolescence. Is this Smirnoff Ice's game? When you think of top shelf alcohol, what comes to mind?

For me, it's price. The higher the price, the higher quality the alcohol. But I've spent much of my adult life and okay, sorry mom, maybe even a bit of those teen years happily sipping low to moderately priced spirits. Those special times when the higher end stuff graced my lips? I never really noticed a difference — aside from the gaping hole in my wallet.

But now that I'm no longer in college, making trash can punches for hallway dorm parties, opting for the pricier options has just seemed like the more appropriate, "adult," thing to do. So these days, when I head out to happy hours, dinners with friends, or even Saturday night bar hopping, I always order up what I feel is an appropriately mid- to high-range spirit option none of that cheap college crap.

I do this, not because I know it tastes better, but because the price tells me it must taste better. Makes sense, right? That is until a few of my team members and I participated in a blind vodka taste-testing extravaganza. Last Friday cheers to the freaking weekend a bartender and a vodka expert from Smirnoff came to our office and we all gathered in a conference room where the table was adorned with A,B, and C-labeled, shot glasses, a spit cup no official tasting is complete without a spit cup , and a score-ranking card for detailing taste, odor, smoothness, and price.

In the middle of the table stood the three bottles of mix-ranged vodkas: Smirnoff, Titos, and Grey Goose. This flavor is good. I didn't dislike it, but it's a very forgettable flavor. I probably wouldn't purchase it again but I wouldn't be unhappy drinking it. This flavor is actually very good. Probably because it's mixed with real fruit juice , but still, very good. The only downside is that the mix of real fruit means you have to consume more calories and take more shots to get drunk.

Orange Smirnoff chased with Sprite is a great combo. For some reason, orange tastes better than many other fruit-inspired flavors. It went down easier and left close to no burning sensation. That's a win in my book. Kylie Jenner created the pomegranate seed craze so I think I might be a little biased about this flavor, but I love it.

Although, who doesn't love all of the things featured in Kyle Jenner's snap stories? If you can't get your hands on tequila, lime, and salt or if that makes you gag , your next best choice is lime and Sprite—the best combo that exists.